I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
