hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
