I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
