I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
