I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
