Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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