I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
