found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
