hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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