And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
