weddingsv make me drug and hornr
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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