So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
