So drunk, too bad you don't want this
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
