i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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