I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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