I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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