i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
