The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
birth control should be required to get into college
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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