you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
