If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
