Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
