Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
