She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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