well I can't set my house on fire every night
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Randomize
