I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
