On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
