I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
