dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just found puke in my bra..
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I can feel your judgement through the phone
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
