dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
