My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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