What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
