So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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