I want to stick my p in your. b.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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