best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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