my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
