I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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