i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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