I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
