She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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