any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
