peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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