I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
