Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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