he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
