come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
