i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
