Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
