and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Randomize
