YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
