Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Someone came in the potted fern
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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