how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
