Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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