oh god the rape fog is back!
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
